I lay awake at night starring at the wall, listening to the loud screams of silence. My mind begins to have a heart to heart conversation with my soul. It is crying out to finally be heard. It's the subtle voice that reminds (Me) of all the heartache, sacrifice, and loss that we've been through. Struggling to find the important parts of me. So afraid that I've lost them along the way. She is the part of me that reminds me of who we are. She is the Giver, the one that still believes love conquers all. (ME) understands that it takes Me, Myself, and I, to maintain balance.
I.....Can subtly hear (Myself) saying " What about me? (Myself) when is her turn, she feels that she has much to say on the subject, but no one ever listens to her. She is the one that demands that we live in alignment with God, and truth. She is the one that never let's us forget the Spirit won't lie, and Truth is in our eyes. Everyday, I hear her screaming "PEACE". She is the Great Pretender, she believes we can make through anything, as long as we never lay down, and give up. She is the one that has been beaten, and broken. She is the part of me that everyone has taken her kindness for a weakness. She freely gave away her gifts, in hopes that she would find someone with a heart like hers, willing to share. Many came bearing gifts, or should I say trinkets. A starving heart will accept the slightest bit of kindness. They stole from her, they took more than they gave. But she is strong, she believes it was all just a Test anyway. God put her here for mankind. For all her sacrifices, and let downs, God in turn will reward her, and give her beauty for her ashes. The journey has been long, and hard. It has had it's own rewards, but ooh my God, it surely came at a price.
Loneliness, and Despair...... Hurts, Heals, Strengthens, the Heart all at the same time.
I......Says I have been quiet long enough, that is how we got into this situation in the first place..I.....Says you would have been better off, if you never gave (ME), and (Myself) so much Dominion over our life. All they do is Feel, they never think, not the way I .. Do. I..... keep our best interest in mind, and because of them you took away my voice. You set aside my instincts, you turned away from the voice that set you apart from everyone else. God gave that to us. Don't you Remember? When we were a child, we were special. He blessed us, but you Dangled our pearls before swine. It just was not in the Master's Plan, our life was written. I'm mad at you...... YOU!!! put us in situations, we didn't belong. Trying to make pieces "FIT" that were never meant for us.. ... For Me... I'm honest, (I) Never lie. I have set in silence as long as I can. I..... Can't sit idely by and let you destroy me for your own selfish reasons. When I...Am the only one who will tell you the truth, even if you don't want to hear it. Remember when you use to respect my honesty? You don't anymore, you have already begun to lie to me. How can you look me I......in the face? Knowing, you are not being True to me (US).
We're closer then that.... You trusted me..... Trust me now, let me help you find what is missing. First, you must promise me to never take away my right to speak. I'm the One who tells you, it's your turn, you have given up enough. I....Am the reason you are not at peace, why some days you cry, and don't know why.. I.... Have to do that to you, because if I don't, you will forget. I.....Can not take that chance, there is too much at stake. I....Am going to make your life a living Hell, until you honor me. Until you embrace what makes you....YOU.
(Me), (Myself),, is hoping I.... Finally has your attention. You don't listen to us at all. Living an ordinary existence, you have forgotten our worth. You have played make believe so long. Do you even know where to find the essence of me? Putting everyone else's needs above ours. When will you realize you can't save the world? Search for us, We are worth it. I.... Promise you will never be alone again, we are a family. God's promise is written on our life. You will be Happy. The fact that you are acknowledging that you even hear me, is proof Positive that you are admitting you can no longer lie to me. Otherwise, you would continue to do what you have been doing........ NOT LISTENING.....I.....Speak from your Spirit. Because I AM your Spirit. Take my hand....I know The Way......I know YOU!!!!                                Â
By: JAKI.